There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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