You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
