I'm really into asian looking animals
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
