omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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