Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
