It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
