My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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