What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
