you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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