i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize