Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
