dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
