I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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