Sponge bath it is.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to fling myself into the sun
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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