VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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