I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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