I just cut my nipple shaving
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Success! We fucked roommates!
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