Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
