I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
