Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
