I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
