Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
