it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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