I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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