You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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