..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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