I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
