I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
