I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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