just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize