carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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