I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
this hospital has no fireball
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
