woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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