Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
