No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
