i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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