if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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