the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
