Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
