you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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