I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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