Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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