My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
