is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
