Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
