So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
