I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
