I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize