Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
