she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
