Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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