I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
