ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
