just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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