Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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