I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
