Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
