Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze. http://tfl.nu/rr46
  Replies (27) Good night (5759) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself. http://tfl.nu/vif9
  Replies (55) Good night (10927) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever? http://tfl.nu/6llk
  Replies (60) Good night (1169) Bad night (4311)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  why can't you just be normal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u? (1-815): why can't you just be normal http://tfl.nu/06xb
  Replies (78) Good night (4799) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window. http://tfl.nu/ziko
  Replies (8) Good night (3457) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating http://tfl.nu/ynhz
  Replies (19) Good night (1088) Bad night (3294)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked http://tfl.nu/5a6g
  Replies (15) Good night (1001) Bad night (3914)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7741) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone http://tfl.nu/koze
  Replies (36) Good night (2546) Bad night (5190)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer. http://tfl.nu/cz4h
  Replies (8) Good night (4392) Bad night (1935)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1
  Replies (15) Good night (1590) Bad night (4279)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too. http://tfl.nu/ej6j
  Replies (8) Good night (4658) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night? http://tfl.nu/6630
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back. http://tfl.nu/4p4r
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (160)

Randomize