honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.