I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.