So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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