Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

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  (404): My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early. http://tfl.nu/9qa8
  Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (644)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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  (801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4
  Replies (19) Good night (3430) Bad night (720)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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  (954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c
  Replies (98) Good night (2256) Bad night (23008)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation

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  (941): He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation http://tfl.nu/2ie5
  Replies (35) Good night (844) Bad night (4618)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

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  (607): I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better. http://tfl.nu/5tpe
  Replies (18) Good night (4457) Bad night (722)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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  (604): mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday. http://tfl.nu/2gms
  Replies (7) Good night (992) Bad night (4640)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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  (806): All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots" http://tfl.nu/28dj
  Replies (12) Good night (5555) Bad night (1304)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.

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  (850): Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing. http://tfl.nu/n4ke
  Replies (18) Good night (4178) Bad night (1766)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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  (215): Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes. http://tfl.nu/3g0d
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (3245)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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  (662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81
  Replies (9) Good night (1058) Bad night (3316)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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  (408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1460) Bad night (686)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

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  (515): Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women. http://tfl.nu/axeg
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (519)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

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  (810): He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me. http://tfl.nu/paz8
  Replies (24) Good night (3138) Bad night (719)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die

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  (775): Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die http://tfl.nu/wat0
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (291)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.

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  (403): I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that. http://tfl.nu/4xpt
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (377)

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