Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..