At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
