Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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