I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
