He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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