oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
