He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
