There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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