Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
