she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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