Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
