1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
