I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize